How To Stick To Your New Year’s Resolutions
You have made your New Years resolutions…..now how do you stick with them?
When it comes to health and longevity, most of us know what it takes: You have to eat right, exercise, keep your stress levels down, get plenty of sleep, and maintain healthy relationships with the people you love. Unfortunately, while these are attainable goals, often it is your own self and the temptations right in front of you getting in the way.
We all love a fresh start and so we begin the new year with the best of intentions. It is a chance to renew our dedication to the practices that we care about. And for most people, at the mark of the new year, these are practices of self care. But for most of us, after a few weeks or months of discipline, we fall off the wagon. Why does this happen?
Sometimes it is a problem of distractibility or forgetfulness under the pressure of a busy schedule, but usually it is an issue of overcoming our own desire for instant gratification. Temptations may derail us from reaching our aspirations. Richard Thaler, Nobel Prize winning economist and theorist in behavioral economics discusses the idea of “present bias”: The tendency to undervalue long-term rewards in favor of instant gratification. We go for fast food instead of taking the time to cook a healthy meal; we curl up on the couch to watch tv instead of heading for the gym or sleep in rather than waking up a few minutes earlier to meditate; we make an impulse buy rather than saving for something of long-term value. Present bias is one of the most pernicious obstacles we face when it comes to achieving our goals. But being aware of this problem, doesn’t necessarily help us to overcome it. We find often that there are almost two selves inside of us that are working against each other. But if we look to behavioral science we may find some solutions.
In my own life I have noticed that when I am attempting to integrate new changes, they are often unsustainable. And if you are to make a change that sticks, you have to consider the long haul. Here are some tricks and brain hacks to help you make positive changes for good:
Make Realistic Goals Chose just a couple of goals to start with. The idea is to think long-term and sustainable. And this change is only the beginning. You can always make new resolutions throughout the year.
Make the difficult changes fun When thinking of new habits you want to create or skills you want to attain, take the time to find the path that generates the most pleasure and is the most fun. That way you are more likely to stick with it and enjoy the journey. You may chose a dance class or a hike in nature instead of a trip to the gym. If you are starting a meditation practice, create a space of beauty and peace that gives you pleasure to be in while you are there. If you are incorporating healthy eating into your life, find recipes that feature foods you love and when you eat, plate your food beautifully and light candles to ritualize the experience of eating.
Know that the most successful attempts at change are non-linear Not only does the journey need to be sustainable in order to avoid burn-out, and fun in order to avoid quitting due to boredom, but we need to leave room to discover new and better methods. For example if you are a decent swimmer but would like to improve your stroke so you don’t hurt your body, you may swim slower and more awkwardly until you incorporate better form.
Temptation Bundling Behavioral Scientist Katy Milkman considers the mind an engineering problem through her idea of temptation bundling. Temptation Bundling combats our desire for short term gratification by pairing our favorite things and activities with something one might consider an unpleasant chore. You may chose to listen to your favorite podcast while you’re exercising or cooking a healthy meal; go to your favorite cafe or restaurant for a business meeting you’re not looking forward to; reward yourself with your favorite hot beverage when you wake up early to meditate, or find a juicy page turner to read before bed instead of tv in order to improve sleep.
Find a place for these new changes in your routine The most successful and happy people I know have daily wake-up and wind-down routines. If you want to incorporate a meditation practice or exercise more, finding a place for this practice in your schedule is essential in creating the habit.
Do something nice for your future self It’s often helpful to think about delaying gratification in the moment in honor of the future reward. You can say “this is hard now, but future me will enjoy this”. And the reverse: “Future me will pay the price for this fast food”. We need to make things easier for the people we are going to be. It may be deciding not to buy a pair of shoes you have your eye on in order to save for that dreamy trip to Spain. It could also be the choice to exercise in order to be healthier, stronger and happier in our minds after. Or to eat right and and enjoy both the immediate and far future future benefits of proper nutrition.
Automate changes and set up defaults What are the default foods you keep at home? Make it easier on yourself by stocking your fridge and pantry only with healthy foods. You can save for retirement with an automatic deduction from your paycheck. You can curtail social media with a website blocker. Improve sleep by keeping all devices and lamps with white lights out of the bedroom.
Give yourself more fresh starts You don’t have to wait for the new year to make changes. Think of all the chapter breaks in your life. You can incorporate small new changes every week or every month. After a holiday or a birthday. After a move. We often reflect on the “new me” at the end of a chapter and this allows us to shed old skin and step into a new version of ourselves.
In the end it is important to think strategically and to exercise non-judgment with our selves. Before you dive in, take the time to sit down with your favorite music and hot beverage and write out not just your deepest desires for the future but your wins from the past year: Your accomplishments, what you learned and the people who supported you in those achievements. Many of us are hard on ourselves and blind to our own growth. What did you successfully incorporate last year, even unintentionally? You can do it, one small change at a time.
Enjoy the journey!
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